


Stealin' Kisses

by HJWinters



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman Beyond, Batman: The Animated Series, Harley Quinn (Comics), Injustice: Gods Among Us
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/F, Family Fluff, Fluff, Romantic Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-10
Updated: 2018-01-10
Packaged: 2019-03-03 02:39:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13331748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HJWinters/pseuds/HJWinters
Summary: Each chapter is a different disconnected oneshot over Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Meet My Plant
> 
> Harley and Ivy spend Christmas with Harley's Family

Harley vaulted over the back of the couch and landed cross legged next to a very unamused Ivy. She was reading the newest issue of 'Gardens and Homes' magazine and trying her very hardest to ignore the hustle and bustle of the mad house around her. Unfortunately for her Harley had other plans.

"Hey Pam-A-Lamb my family is still mistakenly under the assumption that I am heterosexual, so I was wondering if you wanted to come with me for the holidays?" Harley batted her eyelashes at the botanist and tried her very hardest to look as cute as possible. Ivy knew this wasn't a conversation she was soon about to escape so she put her reading material down with a sigh.

"Why exactly are we trying to disprove your family's ideas of you? You're a Sociopathic jester who gave up a promising career as a Psychiatrist to be with a Psychopathic clown and an Eco-terrorist." Ivy smirked at the little bouncing woman before her.

"Because I want my family to know who the person I love is. Come on we'll just have to be there for a moment or two while we make introductions, they'll disown me right away then we can go get ice cream together." Harley took Ivy's hand in her own and gave it a couple of kisses while Ivy chuckled.

"Sure Harls, I'll come. So what holiday are we celebrating?" Ivy pulled Harley on to her lap and nuzzled her cheek.

"Well my dad's Jewish and my mom's Catholic so technically both but we are only gonna be there for the Christmas eve dinner. Plus if they don't kick us out automatically Christmas morning." Ivy hummed softly in acknowledgement.

"So am I going to be the first supervillain you've ever taken home?" It was an innocent enough question but Harley knew what she was really asking.

"You'll be the first time I've ever brought a partner home ever. I never had anyone close to my heart before I came to Arkham." Harley looked up at her lover with large eyes and a huge grin, a look that screamed puppy-like adoration. Ivy gave her a small kiss on the nose and together they got started on a plan of escape.

Harley's parent house was in a suburbs of bludhaven and wasn't very large. What it lacked in square foot it made up in having a very large and well taken care of garden, or at least that was Ivy's opinion. The front door was opened to reveal an elderly couple, the woman had graying blonde hair with blue eyes and the man had curly dark brown hair and gray eyes. Both looked ecstatic to see their only daughter and scooped her up in their arms. They finished cuddling their girl and only then noticed the tall woman with green tinged skin and vine-like red hair.

"Mom, dad this is Pamela Isley a.k.a the Eco-terrorist plant girl Poison Ivy, my fiancée." Harley fidgeted as her birth givers gave Ivy the once over and shared a look between them. Suddenly Ivy was pulled in their arms and given her own parental hug.

"Thank you for getting her away from that clown. I'd be in jail for murder while my parade was being planned out." Her mother joked as they were ushered into the house and deposited into the Livingroom.

"Oh come on I wasn't that bad!" Harley pouted and sat cross legged on the loveseat next to the tenderly decorated fake Christmas tree. Ivy sat next to her as everyone else gave a small chuckle. 

"Harleen you'd cover over here every few months covered in bruises and have hidden at least a million dollars under your niece's name." Her father shook his head at her before cracking a smile.

"We know now why a fake tree was insisted on though." Ivy gave him a weak smile of her own. Soon a loud pounding on the door was heard and half a dozen people of all shapes and sizes came rushing through the door.

"Aunt Harley!" A small girl with curly blonde hair and vibrant green eyes came rushing in at the two at hyper speed and collided painfully with them in an attempt to receive a hug as fast as possible.

"Hey baby girl." Harley curled the child into her lap and snuggled up to her as if this one human could break her with a single word, but she was willing to risk it if only to be near her. Three men and two women piled in after her and sat around the room and took up every remaining surface left. The adult couple the girl came in with gave the girls a look of loving exasperation. The man looked like Harley's father so Ivy assumed he was her brother, along with the two other men. The woman had dark brown eyes and curly black hair, neither looked like their genetics could have manifested in the small angel in Harley's lap.

"Lucy why don't you show Harley your report card?" The woman gave the child a piece of paper that boosted a B average in kindergarten level classes. Harley smothered the girl in kisses and gave her a hug so tight it looked like it might hurt.

"You are so smart baby girl, just like your momma." Harley's face answered every question Ivy had to the girl's parentage. Lucy smiled a large gap toothed grin that was a near identical look to Harley's and looked up at the woman in charge of raising her expectantly.

"Yeah Lucy just like your momma." The woman and Harley exchanged a sad look before Lucy commanded Harley's attention once more.

"Hello I'm Pamela Isley, Harley's fiancée." Ivy said as she stood to shake a few hands. Ivy was happy she was covered from feet to neck in a protective layer; she really hated to poison people who didn't deserve it.

"I'm Helena Quinnzel, This is Harley's brother and my husband Mark, his twin brother Mathew with his wife Susan and Harley's youngest brother Joshua. And that little bundle of joy is Lucy Quinnzel." Ivy gave her a questioning look but received no answer. Soon a beep from the oven heard and they soon were all seated at the dining table.

"So Ms. Isley what did you do before you became an Eco-freedom fighter." Ivy gave a small chuckle having never before been called a freedom fighter before.

"I was a Botanist with a PhD in biochemistry and genetics. I'm actually the one who did all of this to me." She motioned to her green skin and unusual hair.

"I'm coated in toxins and have a very large influence over the green, or plants, I can feel what plants feel which is why I fight for what I do." At the look of worry and disturbance Harley was quick to reassure them that she was immune and they'd done several things to protect everyone in the house from being poisoned.

"I did bring some Antivenom if anyone wishes to be vaccinated. You'll be sick for a few hours but you'll never have to worry about poison again." Ivy offered having already decided the child and her care givers would be getting the shot even if no one else did.

"Hey then we'll have protection against Harley's cooking." The younger brother elbowed his sister and everyone erupted in nervous laughter. The family was sweet; so many things could cause this table to descend into fighting but they wouldn't let it. Ivy watched as several times during the night the conversation descend into awkwardness only for someone to crack a joke and have everyone at ease again.

Later that night as Ivy and Harley got read to sleep in the garden, on a bed Ivy caressed out of the plants, Ivy decided to let it be known she knew who Lucy really was.

"I was thinking we could get a place near here with a big back yard for Lucy." Harley looked confused for a moment before happiness shined on her face.

"Would you really give up saving the earth for me?" Harley looked guarded though as if the fate of her world depended on Ivy's answer.

"Not completely, the terrorism part I'll stop but I was thinking I'd ask Aqua man for ways to use my power for good. He somehow stopped pollution and ocean dumping, so it's possible he could have projects for me to work on without me losing my integrity." Harley squealed and launched herself at Ivy, who received a face full of kisses.

"I'd do anything for you Harley."

"I'd do anything for you to Red."

 


	2. Prenatal Pictures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harley takes candid pictures of a pregnant poison ivy

I woke up to a dark sky and empty bed, Ivy had been here with me before i fell asleep so i decided to investigate. I grabbed my phone and turned on the flash light.It didn't help much in the jungle she called an apartment but at least i could see in front of my face now.  I tripped and stumbled my way through the house and found my way to the living room. That's when i saw a light coming from the kitchen. 

Inside the refrigerator completely open and Ivy was sitting in front of it. A tub of ice cream, pumpkin pie, and whipped cream was laid out in front of her. She wore nothing but a fleece plaid shirt and a shit eating grin. Her pregnant belly stuck out in front of her and was balancing cake. She was shoveling it in to her mouth like a starving woman seeing food for the first time in months. I sneakily turned off the flashlight and switched to camera. I snuck up as close as possible to her and took my picture. However I forgot my shutter sound was on and it caught her attention.

Her dumb founded, shocked look was to good to resist so i took another. I immediately posted both pictures to every social media i had, while she shoved every thing to the side and scrambled to her feet. 

"Please don't post that!" She snatched up the phone started to delete the pictures. I gave her as best a charming smile as possible as the sound of re-tweets and likes flowed into the night air.

"Oops, to late." She scrolled through the comments of people who spend to much time on the internet to be up at two o'cock in the morning. She clicked her tongue and passed back the phone. 

"I'm gonna finish eating, you go back to bed. We have murder to do in the morning." I looked down at the comments and saw that Cobblepot had called her a 'Fat cow grazing'. Makes sense that that fat penguin would not only be up at this time but be an internet troll on top of it. 

The next day we showered, shaved and applied a classy get up to sneak ourselves into the normal entrance. Ivy was able to hide her pregnant belly behind a fur coat, though i didn't like having my child hidden from view. 

We saw his beaked behind high up on his balcony like a king observing his subjects. It was only around ten in the morning so the only people who were here was socialites enjoying their brunch. Grown children only here for the ability to say they dined with the mentally ill and gangsters. 

Our way to him was short and sweet and surprisingly unhindered. We should have known it was a trap because as soon as we were with in shooting range large men surrounded us and escorted us to his table. 

"Ello ladies sorry for the rudeness last night. It was they only way i could be certain i'd see you. Been trying to talk to you ladies for a while now but my messengers keep being murdered" He sat there looking all dignified while our fingers itched for the knives. The goons stepped forward with a large green box with a red ribbon tied up as a bow on top.  His face up with joy at the sight of our shock.

"Well go ahead ladies open it up!" He clapped his hands in glee.

"Ya know it's terrible to harm a pregnant woman and her wife right? A special place in hell for people like you, i should know I've been there." I shook my finger at him pouting at the fact we may not get to stab something today. Ivy just scoffed and tore at the wrapping revealing an extremely soft black blanket decorated with red diamonds and green vines with a cute little penguin rattler that had a question mark handle.

"I was very tempted to just not give it to you but Eddie insisted." He said very flippantly while said man appeared with a drink for each of us. 

"Tried to do it civilly i swear but someone didn't wish to play nicely." Penguin shrugged his shoulders. Ivy and I ran our fingers over the gifts and gave each other a look before making high pitched noises of appreciation for cute things that only women seem to be able to achieve. 

"You still owe me something to stab Oswald." Ivy told him sternly as she rubbed the blanket against her cheek and i shook the rattle.

"We'll see to it right after you get some food in you." He said with a smile. 


End file.
